 From Pimp Stick to Pulpit - 'It's Magic' Video Tailer for AMERICAN PIMP
 |
 From Pimp Stick to Pulpit - "It's Magic" reviewed by Miss Poppy Dixon
The next day I searched the Internet for "Bishop Don 'Magic' Juan" and found his biography From Pimp Stick to Pulpit - 'It's Magic'. I also found that the Hughes brothers (MENACE TO SOCIETY, and DEAD PRESIDENTS) featured Magic in their latest indie film AMERICAN PIMP. The book "From Pimp Stick to Pulpit" is written by Magic's sister, Ann Bromfield, and the only thing surprising is that it actually has an editor. The grammar is as fractured as an Ed Wood novel with none of the charm or accidental humor. Sometimes narrated in dialect Bromfield peppers the prose with enough tired clichés to choke a horse. Unintroduced characters appear suddenly from nowhere and disappear as quickly. Important incidents, such as shootings and hospitalizations, are inserted as afterthoughts to salvage stranded plot points. When I told Chocolate that Scooter was in the hospital she was so happy that she gave me money to go out and buy a new wig.Believe me, context adds nothing to this cryptic non sequitur. The story, such as it is, recounts in tedious detail the many "unmerciful" beatings that Magic uses to motivate his whores, and bring in the constant supply of "paper" that his weed and champale habits require. Bromfield ends each saga incredulous that Magic's women keep coming back for more. "Don, you got to be kiddin'. You kicked her ass and she gave you money? Is she crazy?" Though troubled by his mercurial temper Bromfield adores her brother and points out that each year Magic supplied the poor children of Chicago with free school supplies. To her credit she adds that some of Magic's whores were underage teens when he turned them out, a fact confirmed by a section in the appendix titled "The Best of Magic's Stable: 1972 - 1985." These were apparently the salad years, when all the ceilings were mirrored, the floors thick with lime green shag, and hundred dollar bills were embedded in thick lucite toilet seats. Magic rubbed shoulders with various celebrities and claimed Mr. T as a close friend. The author includes a poem she was inspired to write when Mr. T graciously agreed to host her birthday party. Ann had a birthday party that I will always remember.It continues. Buy the book.
He unceremoniously repents, informs his family, and declares it "magic." The book ends with no explanation of the title "Bishop," and no mention of the referenced "pulpit." We have no idea what line of work Magic has adopted in his new life as Christian, nor any clue to the fate of his whores. Titled with a cursory nod to his new Christian life this book consists primarily of ugly bad ass boasting, and lots of lurid, trashy sex and violence - classic Christian porn. But the book is honest. The conspicuous "luxury" of Magic's life differs little from that of ministers such as Paul and Jan Crouch of TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network). Their gilded mansion in Costa Mesa, their faux-Versace silk clothing, Jan's precariously perched cotton candy wigs are all financed by thousands of 50-something women who get down on their knees nightly to ask God how much of their money to send these ever grasping prophets. Perhaps they can teach an old pimp some new tricks. I am glad that Jesus has come into my life. There is so much peace! I have stopped smoking and drinking myself to death! This is the first time in twenty years that I have been sober. Thank you, Lord, for setting me free! FROM PIMP STICK TO PULPIT - IT'S 'MAGIC': THE LIFE STORY OF DON 'MAGIC' JUAN, by Ann Bromfield and Don Juan. Edited by Katheryn L. Patterson, Vantage Press, Inc., 1994. Bishop Don 'Magic' Juan may be reached at: PO Box 24791, Chicago IL 60624. His church home is Chicago's "Magic World Christian Kingdom Church." | ||
Leaving a movie premiere on Hollywood Boulevard one evening my friends and I happened upon a lime green, late model Rolls Royce with gold detailing parked at the side of the road. A decal in cursive script spanned the trunk, "Bishop Don 'Magic' Juan." Curious, I jotted down the name.
The story shifts sometime after Magic's 30th birthday when he tires of the mack life, and "of beating [his whores'] asses to get them to produce." His conversion experience follows quickly, requiring most of the last two or three pages of the book. It begins with massive doses of weed, alcohol and PCP, and segues to paranoid collapse, tears, and "black snot ... running down his nose. He was screaming and crying without control. Beads of sweat were popping out on his forehead."