Dear Miss Poppy,

I have been enjoying your site this evening and forwarding the link to friends. I was raised pro-life (not a fanatic like *some* people, but against abortion). I have 2 children. I got married and had my first child, after 45 hours of labor, 9 months and 1 day later, at the age of 20. I became pregnant again 4 months after my son was born, while waiting for my IUD to arrive at the OB's office. We could not afford another child, but we did not believe in abortion, so we lived with my mother, who hates my husband, in poverty and misery. My older son had colic and screamed for 3 months straight. My second son was born, and was allergic to breast milk and all formulas. The doctors couldn't help. After 4 months of projectile vomiting, I found a milk & corn-free formula he could keep down.

At the same time, my older son stopped talking, and became very remote. Just before he turned 2, he was referred to Children's Hospital for testing. We later learned that he has autism.

I now devote much of my time to volunteer work in special ed and autism, and hold board positions in both fields. My son is on a special diet, requires therapies and constant supervision, and I am one of the lucky ones. My marriage is in a shambles, and my other son has developed behavior problems due to all the stress.

I decided several years ago that I would *not* have another child, ever. No one ever tells you that your child might be disabled. No one tells you what could happen to the rest of your family. I could not risk having another disabled child - there is no way I could take care of him. I adore my son, but my entire life will be spent caring for him. There will be no retirement for me, no "empty nest." I will have a job instead of a career, live someplace I hate because we need to stay at his very good school, and stay in a marriage that makes me miserable because I can't leave him with a sitter. I will work to support us and then come home to a messy apartment and homework and try to be two parents to my children, because my husband cannot cope with them and leaves it all to me. I will get by on 4 hours of sleep, have no time to myself, and fashion a social life online, since I never get away from my children except to work and attend meetings. All my dreams for my life are dead, except for one - to see my son recover.

So. My husband and mother argued when I told them, but I held my ground - if I were to get pregnant, I would have an abortion. End of story.

Well, I did get pregnant 2 years ago. As it turned out, I did not need an abortion, as I miscarried after weeks of bleeding and pain, but I consulted with the doctor and would have gone through with it. I felt nothing but relief when the D & C was over with. To be a good mother, my kids need all of me. My husband has since had a vasectomy, so I may never have this problem again, but if I do, it's good to know that there is a solution out there.

Thanks for making me laugh tonight, and making people think.

-K

Adult Christianity © Adult Christianity 2000	Send E-Mail to misspoppy@jesus21.com [http://www.jesus21.com/poppydixon/sex/abortion_response.html]