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May 2004 | Sects on the Beach
Sects on the Beach
Christian sand sculpting and bikini beach ministries exposed. From the beaches of Belize to the beaches of Findlay, Ohio Adult Christianity looks at the cushiest of missionary gigs: the resort revival. Is it anointing oil or Ban de Soleil? Is it a baptism, or a wet T-shirt contest? You be the judge.
< Jesus hates his hair.
Dropped Wallet Trick Tract - Get yours FREE
When threats of Hell fail to win the convert to Christ, trick him with the promise of something (Heaven) for nothing (Jesus) with this FREE dropped wallet trick tract. You'll laugh till you cry as you watch the stupid unbeliever stoop to pick up this Pierre Cardin wallet brimming with cash. The joke's on him. It's a Bible tract - and HE'S going STRAIGHT to HELL!
Funny rubber communion wafers coming soon.
Just in time for summer! Malibu Unborn Baby
OUT: Garden Gnomes IN: Malibu Unborn Baby!
This year's must-have beach accessory is the twelve-week-old fetal model. Modestly NOT anatomically correct. Three inches long from fontenelle to precious feet this hard plastic fetal model comes in two skin tones: goth rocker white and San Tropez tan. Unborn baby sucks securely on opposable thumb as it ponders the future cures for AIDS and cancer. Will he survive to share these with the world? Make that a yes, for only $4.95.
The Pearly Gates - your link to kooky Christian culture
Thanks to everyone for your submissions. Shop till you drop AND fight gay marriage with the Concerned Women for America credit card. Jesus on steroids at Jesus' General. Make your own Church Sign. Pro-life trucking. Move over Tim Robbins, you've got competition: The Act of God Workshop. This quality bottled water has been passed by a priest. The Christian men's movement flowers in the new category menism. Take a stand against porn car persecution.
Christian News | May 2004
Pastor protests strip club owned by rival church
Lord's Gym, a Christian version of Gold's Gym, in Florida, of course; Lynn Cheney's lesbian potboiler; Pastors team up with porn director; Minister caught laundering money in collection plate; Choir director arrested for stabbing lover to death; Ashcroft orders FBI to spy on churches; $69 million paid to Lutheran sexual abuse victimes; Pope refuses communion to John Kerry; Cloning hoax; Teens reneg on virginity pledges; plus too many priests and ministers involved in sexual molestation, rape, assault and murder.
Someone out there needs to be saved today. Won't you forward this newsletter to them?
For Christ's sake,
PS Write to me, or comment on the News articles on the home page. I love hearing from you.
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