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April 2004 | A Fool's Paradise
End Time Movies, from The Control Voice Zine
Part I: Commies and Heretics and Part II: Take the Mark
This is one of the best analyses of end times movies I've seen, and thorough, featuring my favorite "If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?" by Ron Ormond. The USSR takes over the US. Heads roll, comrades torture families. Castro gives candy to children. The nightmarish "A Thief in the Night" and its cultural context are reviewed along with perennial favorite Salem Kirban and his productions.
nest Magazine's Christian Interior Decorating Issue
At last, the Spring 2004 Christian color trends, Todd Oldham, Nan Goldin, The Rhode Island School of Design, Mobile Homes of the Chalbi Desert, Decorating Styles of Christians, Catholics, Muslims, Jews and Episcopaleans compared, Pentacostal book burnings (Harry Potter, don't you know), and more. I don't sell it, but this overview may convince you to buy it - it's a keepsake.
Christian T-shirts: What if Jesus had died by...?
You've seen the shirts, "Jesus loves you so much it hurts," with poor old Jesus nailed up on the cross in agony. Am I the only one who doesn't think the crucifixion is cute, funny, or fit for an action movie? What if Jesus had been executed in the last 500 years? In this piece I speculate on cute Christian T-shirt designs for Jesus' hanging, beheading, lethal injection, and more.
Christian Wrestling Hotshorts and New Site Design!
Miss Poppy is silk screening her own products now, so will be introducting new underwear, tanks, shirts, yoga pants, etc. over the next few months. My first item features my favorite homoerotic Christian wrestlers. These come in the hotshort style modeled here by Mandy, and a standard bikini. Due to popular demand HandzOff antimasturbatory gum now comes in a case discount. The False Faith tract series is introduced: "They are persistent — ruthless — deceitful. But they can be thwarted!" (Mormons)
This Month in The Pearly Gates
Thanks to everyone for your submissions. Rockin' Rollen Stewart - The psycho [John 3:16] Guy. More modesty online. Sad new trend: Corporate Chaplains for hire. Art: Christ of the Ozarks (with man breasts). Sweet video of the Cruciflex Muscle Machine. A favorite: The Jesus Museum. And a late entry I couldn't resist: Lord's Gym, in Florida, of course! A new category for racism prompting one man to call Miss Poppy a liar - imagine!
Christian News | April 2004
'No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle!'
Monty Python rereleases the 25th anniversary issue of The Life of Brian as an "antidote" to Gibson's Passion. Speaking of The Passion, after seeing it a couple was arrested for domestic abuse due to an argument over the nature of the Trinity. Things were said, she was punched, he was stabbed. In the category of stupid suicide stories a man in Bangor Maine tried to kill himself by crucifixion but was foiled when unable to nail his second hand to the crossbar. Vladimir Putin quotes scripture, and Betty Bowers sells fab bumpersticker Don't Change Horsemen in the Middle of an Apocalypse with pics of Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Ashcroft underneath. And lots of the usual Christian fraud, embezzlement, child abuse and much, much more.
Remember to spread the love - forward this newsletter to all of your friends and enemies.
For Christ's sake,
PS Write to me, or comment on the News articles on the home page. I love hearing from you.
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