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January 2004 | Happy New Year
One More Article Explaining That The Bible Does Not Condemn Homosexuality, by Miss Poppy Dixon
This titillating four-part article, illustrated with contemporary and ancient phallic symbology, explains what the Bible really says about homosexuality, refuting the usual regurgitated conservative Christian prejudices twisted to pass as "Bible believing.
Black Jesus & Other Black Saints
In response to Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday, Black History Month, and Valentine's Day we're offering imported Italian prayer cards, postcards, and greeting cards of prominent black saviors, saints, and sinners.
A Very Christian Valentine's Day
Gay Saints Valentine's Day Cards, Soul-winning Gift Basket, Rainbow Crucifix Lollipop Bouquet, Embroidered "Lust" Panties, Bettie Page, Christian Conversation Hearts (really tacky!), gorgeous Sterling Silver Crosses with wildflowers, Anti-masturbatory Gum (duh!), Wash Away Your Sins body products, and imported Italian Sacred Heart Prayer Cards.
Christian Stripper Pens
Watch the fetish nun don and doff her habit as the damage of your Christian upbringing melts away. Other models include Jesus walking on the water, the Last Supper ("Please pass the bread and wine, Judas."), and Anima Sola, the Mexican folk icon of a scantily clad woman writhing in the agonies of Hell.
Seven Deadly Sins Panties - ENVY!
We've launched the Seven Deadly Sins Embroidered Panty Series with "Envy" for Saint Patrick's Day and "Lust" for Valentine's Day. These most popular sins go very fast, so order yours today. Can be sent in a clear or red lucite heart for that very special Valentine.
This Month in The Pearly Gates
Catholic-opoly, and The Christ Bowl in Games; The dress code at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University in Christian Fashion; Jesus Had A Sister Productions' Pills and Remedies in Health & Diet; Dead President's Speak in Messages from the Spiritual World and Fetal Model, Baby Innocence Ornament hangs "from a beautifully decorated brass hanger" in Ridiculous - only $29.95.
Christian News | 2003 in Review
The Virgin Mary crashes Miss Poppy's New Year's Eve Party, Goobers offered on the Via Via Dolorosa, $813 Million Ponzi Scheme Stings Mostly Mormons, Faith-based Follies, Prison Ministry Derailed by "Christian Love Kiss," Strom Thurmond's Black Love Child Speaks, Lauren Hill Lays an Egg at the Vatican, Street Missionaries Pose as Prostitutes, Sex Abuse, Sex Abuse, Fraud, Sex Abuse, Sex Abuse, Murder, Sex Abuse, Sex Abuse, Etc.
"21 Grams" and "Monster"
Miss Poppy enjoyed both of these movies, especially since they both examined the seedy underbelly of Fundamentalist Christianity. Jesus gives Benico del Toro a tricked out truck in "21 Grams," then breaks his heart with it. Charlize Theron shacks up with her lady lover (played by Christina Ricci) in "Monster," in a relative's ramshackle house where Ricci has been sent to get over her lesbian tendencies. Both movies show the inadequacy of popular Christianity to do little but further injure real people in America.
Miss Poppy apologizes for the scant content in this issue, but the four-part article on homosexuality took more time than she thought. Please forward this newsletter to your friends and family, and to all the holier-than-thou pains in the ass that could benefit from a little humor and perspective.
For Christ's sake,
PS Write to me, or comment on the News articles on the home page. I love hearing from you.
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